Welcome back to *Cash Register Alert*, the newsletter about all things ‘90s and ‘00s nostalgia, named after the best sound on AIM. Today, we’re reminiscing about birthday parties of yesterday: everything from “my parents made me invite the entire class to DZ” to the most dramatic sleepovers of all time. And if you haven’t yet subscribed (it’s free!), hit the button below so you don’t miss a single trip down the ‘90s and ‘00s rabbit hole.
My birthday was last week, and it came and went in somewhat of an anticlimactic manner that is not uncharacteristic of birthdays as an adult — not to mention the fact that we’re in the middle of a pandemic. (Remember going to parties? Remember meeting friends for drinks? What a time, let’s time-travel there please.)
But pandemic aside, let’s be honest: birthdays as a kid just hit differently. Maybe it was the fact that time, as a whole, moved a lot slower. Maybe it was the chance to see all of your friends together outside of school (especially if you have a summer birthday, assuming they weren’t all away on vacation). Maybe it was just because of the presents and the cake and, if you’re a Leo like me, the extra attention. Regardless of the reason, birthday parties as a kid were definitely special — and a little bit magical, too.
To pull from one of my favorite memes these days: if you played in the DZ ball pit, you probably need a night cream now.
Indoor playgrounds are still very much a thing (I’ve taken my own daughter to a few of them), but nothing is quite the same as Discovery Zone, a true ‘90s classic. While I personally never had a birthday party here, I definitely attended several, and spent plenty of hours going down the rolling slides, playing tag with friends through the tunnels, and, of course, jumping into the infamous ball pit.
Towards the late ‘90s, Discovery Zones started closing throughout the country (RIP) and they went out of business entirely in 2001. Interestingly enough, Discovery Zone attempted a comeback in February 2020 — right before the COVID-19 outbreak — with a brand-new location in Cincinnati, Ohio. We’ll have to see if the chain survives the pandemic, or if we’re truly the last generation to experience what it means to be “zoned in.”
In middle school, the roller rink was the place to be.
Photo: Courtesy Reddit
The loud music! The glowing lights! The retro carpet that you always tripped on when gliding towards the counter to return your skates! Roller skating (or rollerblading, if you were that kind of ‘90s kid) reigned supreme as the go-to party activity for a while, and for good reason. There was such a high that came from zooming around the rink while your favorite song blasted above (please tell me that I’m not the only one who pretended I was in a music video every time). And what greater bond of friendship exists than linking arms with your besties and slow-skating to the tunes of Vitamin C?
Like other establishments, my local roller rink had a separate area for parties, complete with those quintessential folding tables and chairs. And after an hour or so of skating, there would definitely be a need for food, and nothing was better than concession-stand pizza, mozzarella sticks, and french fries before opening presents.
Similarly...there was the bowling alley.
What was it about bowling as a preteen that was so much fun? (Thanks to summer camp, I was even part of a bowling league with my fellow CITs and junior counselors — but that’s an entirely different newsletter issue.) Of course, one of the requirements for bowling was entering fake names in the display screen, preferably based on fictional characters or inside jokes. To be sure, there were plenty of Topangas at our bowling parties.
Other honorable mentions: Laser tag, your local pizza joint, the arcade, or just...THE MALL.
Image: Courtesy Giphy
Basically, any place that you could just go with your friends. As time went on, birthday parties became less structured around activities and more about just hanging out and having fun. Which brings me to, IMO, the holy grail of birthday festivities:
The good old fashioned sleepover.
If every sleepover was a blank canvas, birthday sleepovers were painted with glitter. The idea of spending an entire night with your best friends was endlessly exciting; it seemed as though the hours lasted forever, and we always found limitless ways of filling the time. From asking Ouija boards if our crushes liked us back to emptying our Caboodles on the floor and doing full-glam makeovers, there was never a dull moment — and usually not a wink of sleep, either.
But also, hear me out: What if the most magical thing about birthdays as a kid was just…the possibility of everything that might come next?
Growing up, it’s easy to craft an idea in your head of what you’ll be like at a certain age. And sometimes those ideas come true — like having your first kiss on your 13th birthday, or ringing in 21 with cocktails and your best friends — but most of the time, getting older doesn’t feel like much of anything, you still feel like you’re the same person you were one day ago. The milestone ages get further and further apart, and time becomes smaller and less defined than it used to be.
But it wasn’t always like that; at one point, birthdays felt more unique and important and special. You woke up and thought, I’m a little older, this year will be different, I will be different. Existing within that possibility brought a special comfort, one that was just as warm and fuzzy as blowing out candles — a natural high that only came around once a year. And if you needed an extra thrill, well, there was always a roller rink close by.
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And be sure to tell your friends! The more the merrier…it’s like a sleepover. XoXo